So this is a raccoon. It's not real, so don't worry that I have an unlicensed raccoon on my desk. Nope, it's just you're run-of-the-mill plastic raccoon. I'm not exactly sure why it's here, but I think it's one of those prank things where you're supposed to pass the raccoon along to other people and then they come in the next morning and say, "There's a raccoon on my desk." Then they move it to someone else's desk and the cycle continues until we are all dead.
I'm not a big fan of this prank, but mostly because it reminds me of when I was in Indian Guides. Anyone remember that? You probably don't, and that's OK. Indian Guides was the lazy dude's incarnation of Boy Scouts. Instead of getting merit badges and working to do good for the general public, you sat around a bonfire and played the fart game. That was fun, but there was also this tradition at camp outs that we called "Injun Joe." OK, so already that's pretty racist, right? I don't want to write that word again so I'm gonna call him, "Native American/Algonquin/Non-Offensive Term Joe."
Joe was this little statue of a Native American/Algonquin/Non-Offensive Term that would be passed secretly from cabin to cabin, where one tribe would cleverly hide the statue so the other tribe couldn't find it. He was bad luck, and you were supposed to search your cabins relentlessly at every available opportunity to ensure that your tribe hadn't been given "Native American/Algonquin/Non-Offensive Term Joe." If your tribe wound up with the statue by the time the unnecessarily big bonfire happened, your tribe had to perform a skit the next day that would inevitably be not funny because no one put any effort into it. This happened to my tribe (The Fox Tribe, slogan: When in doubt, fart.) during one camp out and all the dads had to perform the skit. It was pretty traumatic.
Anyway, that's why I don't like this raccoon.
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